New Post Soon

I took a small break because of business travel. New posting soon....

Children Using Rank

I find it really sad when children compare their parents' rank. "My daddy's an O-3, what is yours?" I have come across this more than I can count, and I correct it everytime I hear it. It doesn't matter what rank your parent is; what matters is that they are serving their country. I will give you the most disturbing example I had to deal with:

I was taking my friend's daughter to the park, and there were other kids there. It was on a military facility so of course these kids are military brats. A boy was playing with her and everything seemed fine for awhile. He was the same age as her, nine years old, so they seemed to be getting along. Then, the conversation suddenly changed.

"What rank is your daddy?" asked the boy.
"E-4"
"Mine is a Staff Sergeant, a E-6, he is better than YOUR daddy."
That's when I started to walk up to them. She started to get upset.
"What does your daddy do?" continued the boy.
"He's a medic. He helps people."
"Well, my daddy is infantry. They are the best, better than medics. Medics get killed."
Her dad just deployed two weeks prior to that. That is when she started to cry.

I explained to him that it doesn't matter what rank your daddy is. Everyone's parents who serve are great for serving their country. I also explained how every job is needed in the military and no job is greater. That we all work hand in hand. I asked the boy where he heard all this from. He said from his mom because his dad was deployed. I had a talk to his mother later and she didn't seem to be listening.

That is just one example of numerous others I have come across, and it is the worst. I feel like a ticking time bomb when I come across these mothers who teach their kids to be as snooty as them about rank and MOS. Children are innocent and learn from their parents. It isn't right to teach your child that they are better than anyone because of a measly rank or job. It is very simple to teach your child what to be proud of. Be proud your parent(s) serves for this great nation and makes great sacrifices. Be proud your parent(s) volunteer(s) for this. Be proud you are an American.

Pretty simple huh? KISS...Keep It Simple Stupid. Or, you are going to look like a village idiot rubbing it in other people's faces and influencing your kids to do the same. Kids listen to their parents. Kids imitate their parents. Kids pay attention. Be more aware what you are doing. If you can't figure that out, or not responsible enough to be a mature woman and a mature military wife...don't reproduce. Take some pills or put on a chastity belt. It is not fair to kids to have parents who act less mature than them. It does happen in the civilian side of life. But, on post is it ruthless. And, the kids become imitations of their parents. Especially the one they are with for months at a time continuously over the years because their other parent is gone. Your kids are going through enough as it, don't add on to it because of your insecurity. SUPPOSABLY military wives have a "tougher" job than their husbands. I'm not so sure with some wives. If you can't raise your kids with respect and a right amount of pride about their dad being a soldier without being snotty about it, then you don't qualify. By the way, before I get "bashed" for having supposably here because there are some wanna be English majors that caught that before on my older post, here's the definition my editor sent to me this morning when I asked about it:

sup·pos·a·ble
adj.
That can be supposed or conjectured: a supposable outcome.
sup·posa·bly adv

"Supposably is a word in the American language that is often wrongly confused with the word 'supposedly'. Although the vast majority of people that use 'supposably' mistake it as a substitute for 'supposedly', it does actually have a valid use. The general rule is this: 'Supposably' can be used only when the meaning is 'capable of being supposed,' and then only in the U.S. Since this is a book only relates to American military wives, we won't change it unless it is published in the U.K."

So, there you go. Just in case anyone else would like to proofread my work. If you still question it, google it. You know, the site that you type what you need to find on the world wide web and it comes up with a neat list of links you can click on. Yeah, that's it. I don't mind pointing out a mistake, but calling me names is another story. Oh, let's just say like "nincompoop". If you have enough time to proofread everything I write and talk about it behind my back, take the time to shoot me an email. Grow a pair. Okay, look to the right of the screen. I have my email listed right there. Or, you can hit my email link on my profile. How simple is that? Two ways of getting a hold of me instead of being the frightened, immature women that are (obviously part of the guilty wives I point out in my book) who were so hurt that you couldn't tell me because of the embarrassment of you sitting in the corner of your shower crying with despair of your sad little lives. Or, at least thinking, while you sit in front of your computer with your mouth open in shock and possibly crying, how you ARE a Bavarian donut. THEN, this is what always happens with people who are too pussy to tell you anything to your face, thinking I wouldn't find it! You people make me laugh! Must be nice you have enough time on your hands to read what I write but not understand it because of your blinded life. Probably blinded by the nice shiny metals the soldiers wear huh? This doesn't apply to everyone, the guilty know who they are. Anyway, I had to put that out there because I knew another message would pop up about it.

Rumors, Rumors, and More Rumors

Why is it every time a unit leaves, the wives are targeted for rumors? Shit hits the fan every time a unit is deployed. It is absolute madness to see these wives starting crazy rumors about other wives cheating. It never crosses their mind that husbands don't need to hear this crap half way across the world. They need to concentrate on their job, not what rumors are floating around about their wife. But, no, those wives have to be so self centered. Why do they start these rumors you might ask. Well, boredom is one. Jealousy. Putting the blame on other wives for what they are doing. Or, just maybe, they want them to be as miserable as they are. It can be more than one of those reasons, but it is no excuse for making up stories out of thin air to ruin a marriage because you are insecure.



It seems like the wives that are innocent are the ones accused of cheating on their husbands more than the guilty ones. The guilty ones might not be pinpointed at all for cheating until their husband comes home and sees changes. If you reside on post, the rumors are brutal. If a maintenance worker gets too close to you while he fix your broken A/C, you are sleeping with him. If your neighbor, another army wife, spends too much time with you...you are sleeping with her. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, you can't make these rumor spreading wives happy. And, yes, these are the Bavarian donuts.

More than likely, the Bavarian donuts who start these crazy rumors, are the guilty ones. What's really sad is when they are found out, they have been sleeping with other soldiers. What? One soldier not good enough for you? That one soldier is your spouse and suppose to be your one true love. But, oh wait! That's right. All you wanted was the benefits and the title "Army Wife". Wow, talk about heartless.

Soldiers are fighting for our freedom and to make these countries a better place for those citizens. But, these wives seem to have nothing else better to do than talk shit about other wives behind their back. High school all over again, when they should be supporting their husband fighting for their freedom to be an embarrassment of what the military stands for. How sad.

Been Slacking...

Sorry, I have been slacking. I will post another chapter later today. Since I have noticed the comments have been off the wall since I have been gone, I wanted to remind everyone of something... there is an email on my profile. If you would like to vent or just tell me what exactly you think of me telling the truth about what I have and many other wives have seen day in and day out in the "Army Wife World", just drop me a line there since you can get more words out of it. I will tweak my blog layout later to add a place to put an email address. I just felt like it needed to be said because I find it strange that I left for a few days and find so many negative comments out of the blew. Sorry, if that sounded jumbled, I haven't slept in days (literally) dealing with projects on post. Here is my email in case anyone is itching to tell me what they think of my blog.

guideofbeinganarmywife@yahoo.com

I believe everyone has a right to their opinion, so just write away :)

Taking Advice

Everyone needs a piece of advice every once awhile in their life. It might be a new haircut, dealing with a crying newborn, or a shaky marriage. But, who do you go to for that? Someone who has been there before right? Why is it that army wives are too proud to ask or even take advice? Yes, they actually step forward sometimes. But, does the "Oh, pity me" stop? NO! Some wives feed off the pity people give them and the ego of I am a wife of a soldier. I am just sickened that these women are even considered an army wife with their discipline, loyalty, and honor they supposably have. If anyone has been there and done that, take the fucking advice. Not continue your self pity so people can come up to you and comfort you like a spoiled child. You never see military spouses that are husbands wallow in their self pity that their wife is deployed or in the military. These wives just want attention. And, sometimes, they are trying to fill the hole their husbands can't fill to be cared about. Any excuse is not an excuse for me. You are a grown fucking woman...act like it.



So, for any wives who act that way and are reading this now....let me break down for you. *clears thoat and makes her voice high pitched like a K-5 teacher does* Now children, what do we do when we are having a hard time and someone who has been in your shoes tries to help you? That's right! Take the advice! And, what do we not do??? Very good! Not continue to make an excuse to want attention. YAY!!!



If you want to act like a child, you are going to be treated as one. You might be going through a hard time but that is no excuse for wanting attention all the time. You might deny you want pity, but let's face it....it makes you feel good doesn't it? To be thought about, cared about, and reassured by strangers. Sound harsh? It really isn't, just the truth. These wives might not want to admit it, but deep down inside they know it is true. And, all the pity is directed toward their husband's line of duty. They knew what they were marrying into, what their husbands were signing up for. But, even before deployment the little pity parties start.

If your husband is home with you, why tell every person you run across "My husband is in the military and he does this. And, his rank is this. So, he has these responsibilities." Are you looking for a pat on the back now, or a hug? Did you take the oath to serve your country? I didn't think so. If your husband is deployed, why is it ten times worse. "My husband deployed and I am surviving. And, don't cry for me. And, it is a sacrifice we make. And, he has been gone this long." Do you realize how annoying that sounds? Telling everyone in your path or online that your husband is deployed? It's one thing to tell people who ask. All your friends and family know, so why boast about it? You might as well have a sticker on your forehead so you can spread the word even more. If your husband is back from being overseas and injuried, mildly or severly, why do you need to be comforted all the time by anything or anyone. My husband NEVER, NEVER went around telling everyone when I was sent back to the states with my injuries. Instead he wanted to be by my side 24/7 and help me. Even if I refused help, he was still there.

But, some of these wives I have seen in the hospital....well, that's a different story. Some of them don't understand, but I was able to pinpoint those who had other issues. First question out of a wife's mouth in the hospial when she was able to see her husband for the first time was "Does this mean you aren't going to be able to stay in the military?" Your husband just came back from Iraq, severly injuried, but could have died and you ask that!!! What is wrong with you! I have tried so hard to give advice to both spouses and military stuck in hospitals. I have seen wives just brush off my advice, knowing that I have been through this first hand before. You know what, I am going to go ahead and be blunt with this subject....your husband was the one that was injuried, not you!!! So, stop wanting people to feel sorry for you! He did his job and now he is trying to get better, but you are parading around wanting everyone to know about how hard he is dealing with life right now as a wounded soldier. Instead of telling everyone about it and looking for comfort, why don't you comfort your husband? He needs you, be there for him. I don't care if he refuses help, that is normal. Read a damn book or at least take some fucking advice from someone who has been in that situation before. You have no idea how much that annoys not only me, but soldiers who see you do it and are injuried too. My husband gets livid when he sees or hear about the crap these wives do to their husbands coming back from Iraq wounded. He supported me and took care of me when I was the worst person to be around sometimes, but to this day I can't thank him enough for putting up with my crap on a bad day. So, I don't know if it is just the pity that you want or if you just don't love your husband as much as you love the title...maybe both. Put that in your juice box and suck on it.

The Wonderful Lies Of An Army Wife

There are just some wives out there that can't open their mouth without a lie coming out. These are those Bavarian donuts I mentioned earlier. And, boy, do they talk about their husband's all the time. This is when you want to slap them in the face and tell them NOBODY CARES! You hear their shit all the time, it is either me, me, me .... oh and of course, me. Or, it is my husband this, my husband is promoting to this, my husband that. It is annoying to hear them ramble about their "perfect" life ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!

In reality, their life isn't perfect. Whose is? But, usually, these wives are the most pathetic and unhappy people on the planet.

Warning: I can and will be cruel for the rest of the posting.

Every wife I have met, that had this most perfect life they have to brag about 24/7, turned out to be unhappy. Trying to make people envy your life, isn't going to change what goes on at home. And, every achievement one woman does...they have done better. And, it seems that money grows on trees for them. They brag about what labels they have, or how much clothes shopping they did because they lost weight. I'm sorry, but everyone has noticed how you have NOT lost weight. Bragging about going to the gym everyday and losing weight is such a bald face lie when everyone has noticed how you can't fit through your front door anymore. And, to top it all off, we all notice how these wives have the most miserables husbands on the face of the planet. I walked through the PX today and was sickened at how miserable these men are so openly. They are embarrassed to be with their wives! It is so obvious, a blind man could sense it. This does not apply to all wives, only to those who wake up every morning and lie about their lives every day so they can feel important.

Brag about your husbands all you want, but they are in the military with the same general purpose....to serve their country. So, why brag? There is no point besides trying to make yourself the queen of something. It pisses me off so bad, SO BAD, when these wives make themselves like such righteous beings but then rub it in every wife's face about how their life is better. From their vehicles, pay, rank, how many kids they have, clothes, houses, what new thing their "husband bought for them" (really it is what they bought themselves, thanks for their husband fighting for our country), volunteering (just a show, and 99% of the time a lie), FRG, etc. etc. We all know these wives, and they know who they are. They try to make out like they are the best of friends and a wife that is so knowledgeable about deployments to come talk to, but they are really in a corner crying most of the time because they can't handle the truth and break down on their own time because life and the military is too confusing for them.

These wives are so freakin full of themselves, it isn't a wonder their husbands either mess around on them or think about it. Trust me, I have seen it too many times in the military. Wives that are so controlling and so obnoxious, the husband can't take it any longer. Honestly, sad to say but true, most of these wives are a bit on the heavy side. Because they let themselves go after marriage and sit on their fat lazy asses all freakin day. And, no, baby fat is not an excuse after one year or even 6 years after your last child. Health issues are a different story, and understandable. I am only referring to those fat wives that don't do shit!

So, anyway, just so they can take sit, collect U.S. government money and benefits, have pity parties about their husband is a soldier (oh yes, we are all crying here for you), let people pat them on the back and thank you for your service as a wife (sorry, what service?), and, can't forget this one, to let people be awed by their "perfect" life. Okay, this is where I get confused with these wives. Do you want us to cry for you or do you want us to want your perfect life? One minute it is "Oh, my soldier has been gone this long for deployment, But, don't worry, it is a sacrifice I make" or it is the "my life is so freakin perfect....envy me!". Which one is it? We are all dying to know. There are too many wives to count that are like this.

Seriously, do these women pick up on how miserable their husbands are? They are dense if they don't. If you are a Bavarian donut (more points if you are a fatty one), then, yes, your husband is tired of your whiny ass. With these wives, deployment is a vacation to these men. That is why they volunteer to stay back later with extra duties. That is why they try to stay at work as long as possible. That is why they can't wait for more training to be away for just a few days from the bitching and waking up every morning next to that. That is why he gladly reenlist and prays every night for another deployment to be away from her, or at least lots of long training at different posts. Sounds like sarcasm, but I have heard it plenty of times and you can tell when a soldier has had enough of his Bavarian donut of a wife. Who would blame them?

So, really? Your life is perfect? Why can't your husband stand you? Why can't you keep your trap shut about made up lies about your life? Why does every wife tend to roll her eyes when you turn your back? If you want to keep your man and your precious life as an army wife, hit the gym more and put an effort. Get up in the morning and cook him breakfast. Clean the house. Actually LOVE him, not the rank or the U.S. Army name tape. Wives back in the day got up before the sun rose to starch and iron her husband's uniform, shine his boots, make him breakfast, and be a GOOD wife to her husband before, during, and after work. And, they went months without hearing a word if their husbands were safe when wars killed thousands in one day. Army wife life is easy now. It's not even half as much effort as wives 50 years ago went through. So stop your crying and be an ARMY WIFE. Not a fake title.

Boot Camp For Military Daughters

It's one thing to be a military brat, but it is another to train your daughter to chase after soldiers. I have seen this more than once and all those times I had to open my mouth and the mom got pissy at me. The other day, at the PX, a little girl was flirting with an officer in front of her. When he walked away, the mom turned to her and smiled as she said, "Good girl, going after the guys with high ranks." What the hell is that suppose to mean? Another time I was talking to a mom on post that I know and was appalled when she told me how her daughter has a thing for a man in uniform and she tells her she better bring a soldier home when she starts dating. I'm sorry, but have you people lost your minds? Your daughter's main priority should be being happy and in love! Not what her boyfriend wears. Army wife life isn't what it is cracked up to be. So, you are basically telling your pride and joys to be ID chasers? I will give you a brief description on what an ID chaser is for now, but I will explain them better in another chapter. An ID chaser is pretty much a woman that will do anything to get a hold of a soldier, marry him, and live off of him while she sits on her lazy ass and collects the United States government's money and all the benefits. And to top it off, to have the title Army Wife like it is some sort of royalty. Pshhh.

So, anyway, back to the boot camp for your children before I start on that rant. Honestly, making your daughter go after as high ranking as she can get is making her into a slut. Sorry, but it is true. You should be worried about her happiness besides a rank on a uniform. And to say that your daughter has good taste for going after soldiers is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard in my life! Your daughter having good taste for a gentleman that treats her well would be the right answer. If you want your daughter to go after the uniform, you have your priorities wrong and you need to be slapped back into reality. HELLO! THIS ISN'T YOUR OWN LITTLE ARMY WIFE FANTASY WHERE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE SOOOOOO IMPORTANT FOR BEING A SOLDIER'S WIFE! THIS IS REAL LIFE! REALITY CHECK!

Fake Righteous Groupies

The FRG is a great organization if it isn't corrupted in your husband's unit. Every FRG I have experienced, and especially the recent one, were horrible. I wouldn't wish them on anyone. If the FRG isn't supportive in your area, leave them alone. It will only get worse. The problem I have found with the FRG are that most wives pull rank. I had one First Sergeant's wife that tried to pull rank on me, and it wasn't pretty. She tried to claim that SHE had a "commander". You don't have a commander unless you are in the military. You are not apart of the military except for being a dependant. I thought she was going to hit me after I said that. She was enraged. See, there is a good example of how childish an army wife can be.

Since that incident, I realized that the FRG shouldn't be by rank. She was an FRG leader and didn't have the maturity to handle it. It should be by leadership skills. That is how they promote in the military. So, why not the FRG. So that is why I call the Family Readiness Group the Fake Righteous Groupies. It is a clique club that is absolutely preposterous and far from what it should be.

Bavarian Donuts

Now for the wives that are new to this.....don't be influenced by these shit filled wives. These wives are like Bavarian donuts. They look sweet on the outside, but instead of the sweet cream in the middle...you have shit. Oh, and don't worry, their sweet demeanor will vanish quickly. You will notice their faults fast. They are full of bullshit.No matter what your husband's rank is, you should love him for who he is. Not pushing him to be better so you can rub it in the neighbor's faces. Yes, he has a job like no other. But, it promotes like any other job. So promotion shouldn't even be an issue in your relationship with your spouse. Nor should awards given to your husband. Your husband received them, not you.

In future reference of all army wives reading this, don't ask another wife what her husband's rank is when you first meet her. Who needs to know unless it is a question that is military related. Secondly, don't think you are more important because of your husband's rank. You didn't earn it, so don't boast about it. Thirdly, don't look down on other wives because their husband's rank is lower than your husband's. That is just childish! Get your own life! If you are a mother, you should be proud of that. And, talking about it. If you are a wife that is going to college, talk about that. Not what your husband's rank is or what job he is in. Seriously, there are better things to do than boast about your husband's achievements because you think that makes you important. It doesn't. Face the facts and get over it.

The Crazy And Ridiculous Sticker Fad aka I'm Better Than You

What really makes me laugh are those crazy army wife stickers that say "Proud Army Wife of My SGT", "My Authority Supersedes Your Rank!", or "Cav Wives Are Better". Who gives a rat's ass! I can understand "Proud Wife Of My Soldier" or "Proud Army Wife". But, other than that, you are trying to rub it in other people's faces that you are better than them. Yes, you might be proud of you husband who is a Lieutenant or a Sergeant, but that is NOT your rank. Promotion points are different in every MOS (job), so rubbing it in every face you can throughout post isn't doing much but making you look like an idiotic wife. Soldiers appreciate humble wives, not ones that are so proud they make themselves look like imbeciles. Pride is one thing, but making people want to envy you is another. You didn't earn the rank, so stop parading around with it.

Yes, you might have helped your husband by supporting him. But, I guarantee you that if you supported your husband for being a traveling doctor, you are not going to have a bumper sticker of that on the back of your vehicle. Stop the high school shit! Please! Do you know how much immature wives bug soldiers?

Army Wife Rank

Okay, this is the most important subject in this book in my opinion. DO NOT USE YOUR HUSBAND'S RANK FOR GAIN!!! I really can't say that enough. I really hate it when army wives would try to pull this shit on me. If you don't know what a M249 is, or what a "front-lean rest position" is, or even what a DD214 is .... then don't you fucking dare try to pull rank on people. You are an army wife. Not your husband's rank. You are there to help other wife cope and to support your husband. Not rubbing it in other wives faces what rank "you" are or trying to get your way with it. It is childish and absurd.

I'm sorry, did someone tell you that you went to the promotion board too? Wow, yeah, I think that is what you wish would happen. If you don't go to work all day and earn that rank, then you aren't that rank. Plain and simple.Yes, your husband's rank effects things in your life. Like housing, scholarships, and FRG meetings. But, it isn't suppose to be used to put other people down. If your husband's rank is higher than others, you might have a responsibility to uphold. But, it is nothing compared to what you husband has to go through day in and day out. The most you have to do is being polite and hold FRG meetings. That is it! By the way, the FRG is there to SUPPORT spouses. But, I will get into that later in my book.

Introduction

Army wives, or just military wives, are not like the show on TV. The "Army Wives" show leaves out a lot of juicy details of what "real" army wives do. I am not here to throw army wives in the burner. I am one myself. I am just here to bring some truth and understanding so new wives don't make the same mistake as countless others have. And, just maybe, some will realize their mistakes after reading this. I will be blunt, so I won't be surprised if there will be many controversies with this book.

This book is a guide to army wives. Do not...I repeat DO NOT go by that stupid TV show. It is fiction. It doesn't show the wife down the street cheating on her husband, the wife that leaves her husband for someone higher ranking, the girl that is an "ID Chaser" that will do anything to be supported by a military man so she doesn't have to do shit for the rest of her life, and the list keeps going. One thing that is rare is an army husband causing problems. That is why this book is specifically for the army wife.

A common problem with a new army wife is being sucked in the bullshit. Yes, that is exactly what I mean. The drama, the "I am better than you" attitude, the backstabbing, the pulling of your husband's rank.....it is so, SO simple to be an army wife. Just be a good wife. You do have an obligation, in my opinion, to know as much about the military as possible. That was easy for me since I served before being an army wife.

If you are offended by now, hang tight for the rest of the book. You will really hate me by the end. If you are interested on how to better you life as an army wife, this is your guideline. Ahead of time, please do not take offense if you are a wife that does none of these things I will talk about in this book. I praise you for not being a part of the worst representation of military manners and discipline. But, at least you learn a few things on how to be the best you can be as a military spouse.