Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Taking Advice

Everyone needs a piece of advice every once awhile in their life. It might be a new haircut, dealing with a crying newborn, or a shaky marriage. But, who do you go to for that? Someone who has been there before right? Why is it that army wives are too proud to ask or even take advice? Yes, they actually step forward sometimes. But, does the "Oh, pity me" stop? NO! Some wives feed off the pity people give them and the ego of I am a wife of a soldier. I am just sickened that these women are even considered an army wife with their discipline, loyalty, and honor they supposably have. If anyone has been there and done that, take the fucking advice. Not continue your self pity so people can come up to you and comfort you like a spoiled child. You never see military spouses that are husbands wallow in their self pity that their wife is deployed or in the military. These wives just want attention. And, sometimes, they are trying to fill the hole their husbands can't fill to be cared about. Any excuse is not an excuse for me. You are a grown fucking woman...act like it.

So, for any wives who act that way and are reading this now....let me break down for you. *clears thoat and makes her voice high pitched like a K-5 teacher does* Now children, what do we do when we are having a hard time and someone who has been in your shoes tries to help you? That's right! Take the advice! And, what do we not do??? Very good! Not continue to make an excuse to want attention. YAY!!!

If you want to act like a child, you are going to be treated as one. You might be going through a hard time but that is no excuse for wanting attention all the time. You might deny you want pity, but let's face makes you feel good doesn't it? To be thought about, cared about, and reassured by strangers. Sound harsh? It really isn't, just the truth. These wives might not want to admit it, but deep down inside they know it is true. And, all the pity is directed toward their husband's line of duty. They knew what they were marrying into, what their husbands were signing up for. But, even before deployment the little pity parties start.

If your husband is home with you, why tell every person you run across "My husband is in the military and he does this. And, his rank is this. So, he has these responsibilities." Are you looking for a pat on the back now, or a hug? Did you take the oath to serve your country? I didn't think so. If your husband is deployed, why is it ten times worse. "My husband deployed and I am surviving. And, don't cry for me. And, it is a sacrifice we make. And, he has been gone this long." Do you realize how annoying that sounds? Telling everyone in your path or online that your husband is deployed? It's one thing to tell people who ask. All your friends and family know, so why boast about it? You might as well have a sticker on your forehead so you can spread the word even more. If your husband is back from being overseas and injuried, mildly or severly, why do you need to be comforted all the time by anything or anyone. My husband NEVER, NEVER went around telling everyone when I was sent back to the states with my injuries. Instead he wanted to be by my side 24/7 and help me. Even if I refused help, he was still there.

But, some of these wives I have seen in the hospital....well, that's a different story. Some of them don't understand, but I was able to pinpoint those who had other issues. First question out of a wife's mouth in the hospial when she was able to see her husband for the first time was "Does this mean you aren't going to be able to stay in the military?" Your husband just came back from Iraq, severly injuried, but could have died and you ask that!!! What is wrong with you! I have tried so hard to give advice to both spouses and military stuck in hospitals. I have seen wives just brush off my advice, knowing that I have been through this first hand before. You know what, I am going to go ahead and be blunt with this subject....your husband was the one that was injuried, not you!!! So, stop wanting people to feel sorry for you! He did his job and now he is trying to get better, but you are parading around wanting everyone to know about how hard he is dealing with life right now as a wounded soldier. Instead of telling everyone about it and looking for comfort, why don't you comfort your husband? He needs you, be there for him. I don't care if he refuses help, that is normal. Read a damn book or at least take some fucking advice from someone who has been in that situation before. You have no idea how much that annoys not only me, but soldiers who see you do it and are injuried too. My husband gets livid when he sees or hear about the crap these wives do to their husbands coming back from Iraq wounded. He supported me and took care of me when I was the worst person to be around sometimes, but to this day I can't thank him enough for putting up with my crap on a bad day. So, I don't know if it is just the pity that you want or if you just don't love your husband as much as you love the title...maybe both. Put that in your juice box and suck on it.