Thursday, July 23, 2009

Children Using Rank

I find it really sad when children compare their parents' rank. "My daddy's an O-3, what is yours?" I have come across this more than I can count, and I correct it everytime I hear it. It doesn't matter what rank your parent is; what matters is that they are serving their country. I will give you the most disturbing example I had to deal with:

I was taking my friend's daughter to the park, and there were other kids there. It was on a military facility so of course these kids are military brats. A boy was playing with her and everything seemed fine for awhile. He was the same age as her, nine years old, so they seemed to be getting along. Then, the conversation suddenly changed.

"What rank is your daddy?" asked the boy.
"Mine is a Staff Sergeant, a E-6, he is better than YOUR daddy."
That's when I started to walk up to them. She started to get upset.
"What does your daddy do?" continued the boy.
"He's a medic. He helps people."
"Well, my daddy is infantry. They are the best, better than medics. Medics get killed."
Her dad just deployed two weeks prior to that. That is when she started to cry.

I explained to him that it doesn't matter what rank your daddy is. Everyone's parents who serve are great for serving their country. I also explained how every job is needed in the military and no job is greater. That we all work hand in hand. I asked the boy where he heard all this from. He said from his mom because his dad was deployed. I had a talk to his mother later and she didn't seem to be listening.

That is just one example of numerous others I have come across, and it is the worst. I feel like a ticking time bomb when I come across these mothers who teach their kids to be as snooty as them about rank and MOS. Children are innocent and learn from their parents. It isn't right to teach your child that they are better than anyone because of a measly rank or job. It is very simple to teach your child what to be proud of. Be proud your parent(s) serves for this great nation and makes great sacrifices. Be proud your parent(s) volunteer(s) for this. Be proud you are an American.

Pretty simple huh? KISS...Keep It Simple Stupid. Or, you are going to look like a village idiot rubbing it in other people's faces and influencing your kids to do the same. Kids listen to their parents. Kids imitate their parents. Kids pay attention. Be more aware what you are doing. If you can't figure that out, or not responsible enough to be a mature woman and a mature military wife...don't reproduce. Take some pills or put on a chastity belt. It is not fair to kids to have parents who act less mature than them. It does happen in the civilian side of life. But, on post is it ruthless. And, the kids become imitations of their parents. Especially the one they are with for months at a time continuously over the years because their other parent is gone. Your kids are going through enough as it, don't add on to it because of your insecurity. SUPPOSABLY military wives have a "tougher" job than their husbands. I'm not so sure with some wives. If you can't raise your kids with respect and a right amount of pride about their dad being a soldier without being snotty about it, then you don't qualify. By the way, before I get "bashed" for having supposably here because there are some wanna be English majors that caught that before on my older post, here's the definition my editor sent to me this morning when I asked about it:

That can be supposed or conjectured: a supposable outcome.
sup·posa·bly adv

"Supposably is a word in the American language that is often wrongly confused with the word 'supposedly'. Although the vast majority of people that use 'supposably' mistake it as a substitute for 'supposedly', it does actually have a valid use. The general rule is this: 'Supposably' can be used only when the meaning is 'capable of being supposed,' and then only in the U.S. Since this is a book only relates to American military wives, we won't change it unless it is published in the U.K."

So, there you go. Just in case anyone else would like to proofread my work. If you still question it, google it. You know, the site that you type what you need to find on the world wide web and it comes up with a neat list of links you can click on. Yeah, that's it. I don't mind pointing out a mistake, but calling me names is another story. Oh, let's just say like "nincompoop". If you have enough time to proofread everything I write and talk about it behind my back, take the time to shoot me an email. Grow a pair. Okay, look to the right of the screen. I have my email listed right there. Or, you can hit my email link on my profile. How simple is that? Two ways of getting a hold of me instead of being the frightened, immature women that are (obviously part of the guilty wives I point out in my book) who were so hurt that you couldn't tell me because of the embarrassment of you sitting in the corner of your shower crying with despair of your sad little lives. Or, at least thinking, while you sit in front of your computer with your mouth open in shock and possibly crying, how you ARE a Bavarian donut. THEN, this is what always happens with people who are too pussy to tell you anything to your face, thinking I wouldn't find it! You people make me laugh! Must be nice you have enough time on your hands to read what I write but not understand it because of your blinded life. Probably blinded by the nice shiny metals the soldiers wear huh? This doesn't apply to everyone, the guilty know who they are. Anyway, I had to put that out there because I knew another message would pop up about it.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Rumors, Rumors, and More Rumors

Why is it every time a unit leaves, the wives are targeted for rumors? Shit hits the fan every time a unit is deployed. It is absolute madness to see these wives starting crazy rumors about other wives cheating. It never crosses their mind that husbands don't need to hear this crap half way across the world. They need to concentrate on their job, not what rumors are floating around about their wife. But, no, those wives have to be so self centered. Why do they start these rumors you might ask. Well, boredom is one. Jealousy. Putting the blame on other wives for what they are doing. Or, just maybe, they want them to be as miserable as they are. It can be more than one of those reasons, but it is no excuse for making up stories out of thin air to ruin a marriage because you are insecure.

It seems like the wives that are innocent are the ones accused of cheating on their husbands more than the guilty ones. The guilty ones might not be pinpointed at all for cheating until their husband comes home and sees changes. If you reside on post, the rumors are brutal. If a maintenance worker gets too close to you while he fix your broken A/C, you are sleeping with him. If your neighbor, another army wife, spends too much time with are sleeping with her. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, you can't make these rumor spreading wives happy. And, yes, these are the Bavarian donuts.

More than likely, the Bavarian donuts who start these crazy rumors, are the guilty ones. What's really sad is when they are found out, they have been sleeping with other soldiers. What? One soldier not good enough for you? That one soldier is your spouse and suppose to be your one true love. But, oh wait! That's right. All you wanted was the benefits and the title "Army Wife". Wow, talk about heartless.

Soldiers are fighting for our freedom and to make these countries a better place for those citizens. But, these wives seem to have nothing else better to do than talk shit about other wives behind their back. High school all over again, when they should be supporting their husband fighting for their freedom to be an embarrassment of what the military stands for. How sad.

Been Slacking...

Sorry, I have been slacking. I will post another chapter later today. Since I have noticed the comments have been off the wall since I have been gone, I wanted to remind everyone of something... there is an email on my profile. If you would like to vent or just tell me what exactly you think of me telling the truth about what I have and many other wives have seen day in and day out in the "Army Wife World", just drop me a line there since you can get more words out of it. I will tweak my blog layout later to add a place to put an email address. I just felt like it needed to be said because I find it strange that I left for a few days and find so many negative comments out of the blew. Sorry, if that sounded jumbled, I haven't slept in days (literally) dealing with projects on post. Here is my email in case anyone is itching to tell me what they think of my blog.

I believe everyone has a right to their opinion, so just write away :)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Taking Advice

Everyone needs a piece of advice every once awhile in their life. It might be a new haircut, dealing with a crying newborn, or a shaky marriage. But, who do you go to for that? Someone who has been there before right? Why is it that army wives are too proud to ask or even take advice? Yes, they actually step forward sometimes. But, does the "Oh, pity me" stop? NO! Some wives feed off the pity people give them and the ego of I am a wife of a soldier. I am just sickened that these women are even considered an army wife with their discipline, loyalty, and honor they supposably have. If anyone has been there and done that, take the fucking advice. Not continue your self pity so people can come up to you and comfort you like a spoiled child. You never see military spouses that are husbands wallow in their self pity that their wife is deployed or in the military. These wives just want attention. And, sometimes, they are trying to fill the hole their husbands can't fill to be cared about. Any excuse is not an excuse for me. You are a grown fucking woman...act like it.

So, for any wives who act that way and are reading this now....let me break down for you. *clears thoat and makes her voice high pitched like a K-5 teacher does* Now children, what do we do when we are having a hard time and someone who has been in your shoes tries to help you? That's right! Take the advice! And, what do we not do??? Very good! Not continue to make an excuse to want attention. YAY!!!

If you want to act like a child, you are going to be treated as one. You might be going through a hard time but that is no excuse for wanting attention all the time. You might deny you want pity, but let's face makes you feel good doesn't it? To be thought about, cared about, and reassured by strangers. Sound harsh? It really isn't, just the truth. These wives might not want to admit it, but deep down inside they know it is true. And, all the pity is directed toward their husband's line of duty. They knew what they were marrying into, what their husbands were signing up for. But, even before deployment the little pity parties start.

If your husband is home with you, why tell every person you run across "My husband is in the military and he does this. And, his rank is this. So, he has these responsibilities." Are you looking for a pat on the back now, or a hug? Did you take the oath to serve your country? I didn't think so. If your husband is deployed, why is it ten times worse. "My husband deployed and I am surviving. And, don't cry for me. And, it is a sacrifice we make. And, he has been gone this long." Do you realize how annoying that sounds? Telling everyone in your path or online that your husband is deployed? It's one thing to tell people who ask. All your friends and family know, so why boast about it? You might as well have a sticker on your forehead so you can spread the word even more. If your husband is back from being overseas and injuried, mildly or severly, why do you need to be comforted all the time by anything or anyone. My husband NEVER, NEVER went around telling everyone when I was sent back to the states with my injuries. Instead he wanted to be by my side 24/7 and help me. Even if I refused help, he was still there.

But, some of these wives I have seen in the hospital....well, that's a different story. Some of them don't understand, but I was able to pinpoint those who had other issues. First question out of a wife's mouth in the hospial when she was able to see her husband for the first time was "Does this mean you aren't going to be able to stay in the military?" Your husband just came back from Iraq, severly injuried, but could have died and you ask that!!! What is wrong with you! I have tried so hard to give advice to both spouses and military stuck in hospitals. I have seen wives just brush off my advice, knowing that I have been through this first hand before. You know what, I am going to go ahead and be blunt with this subject....your husband was the one that was injuried, not you!!! So, stop wanting people to feel sorry for you! He did his job and now he is trying to get better, but you are parading around wanting everyone to know about how hard he is dealing with life right now as a wounded soldier. Instead of telling everyone about it and looking for comfort, why don't you comfort your husband? He needs you, be there for him. I don't care if he refuses help, that is normal. Read a damn book or at least take some fucking advice from someone who has been in that situation before. You have no idea how much that annoys not only me, but soldiers who see you do it and are injuried too. My husband gets livid when he sees or hear about the crap these wives do to their husbands coming back from Iraq wounded. He supported me and took care of me when I was the worst person to be around sometimes, but to this day I can't thank him enough for putting up with my crap on a bad day. So, I don't know if it is just the pity that you want or if you just don't love your husband as much as you love the title...maybe both. Put that in your juice box and suck on it.